mind blowing revelation of the day

This is going to be a short post as i am at work and the kids will be getting up from their nap soon.  I just wanted to post about my thought for the day. I never pieced this together before, but maybe some of you have.

In the recent weeks we (my class) have studied gardening.  We are currently growing vegetables in buckets outside.  Every day the kids watch as we water the plants.  We talk about how the plants need sunlight and water to survive.  That is not unlike us, humans.  I guess my intrapersonal mood set helped me realize today just how much plants and humans are similar.  I speak more so in the sense of our necessity for sunlight.  I recognize that the sunlight provides plants with nutrients and food so that the plants can live.  In the same respect, the sunlight changes our levels of seratonin and melatonin.  Contrary to popular belief, the sunlight can actually be good for you.  Read more about it here.  I started thinking about this today during the conversation I had with the kids.  They wanted to know why we were putting the plants in the sun rather than in the shade.  I explained to them that in the shade the plants are wilting.  They need sunlight to grow big and give us fruits and vegetables.  I told the kids that sunlight makes the plants happy just like when we water them.

Here is the kicker for me....without sunlight, people who suffer from depression also "wilt" in a sense.  Their posture changes, their mood changes, their demeanor and outlook on, life changes; they essentially wither away. We need sunlight to help us stay balanced and happy.  I have considered in the past getting a lamp for myself that I can put one of those light bulbs that are like sunlight in, but I think I would rather make the choice to get more active.

I want to make a better effort to get outside and enjoy the sunlight.  Bad timing, I know, as it is dark when I get out of work at 5:00.  But I can dedicate my weekends to doing something productive outdoors. Not only will the sunlight help my mood and seratonin levels but my activity will bring me joy and possibly a higher level of endorphins.  Who knows, maybe I could be happy AND healthy, haha.   OK I have to go, maybe I will post again tonight....if i am not crocheting. =P Much love!

i dont think you know how hard it is for me to refrain from this activity.

seriously, guys. i have dedicated my life to teaching young children. not college, high school, or even upper elementary school. early childhood. i specialize in birth through third grade. as most of you already know, i am the lead teacher for the 12-18 month classroom. this year, my class has been combined with the 18-24 month class so i am now responsible for the 12-24 month class. i know, its cray-cray. at my job, i am not allowed to post pictures of my kids on media sites. i understand the reasoning behind it, but it is SOOOOOOOOO hard. they are so damn cute. i love them to no end. they are essentially my children. i spend more time with some of them than their parents do. i just....love them. it is ridiculously hard for me to not share their cuteness.

i have to share this, though. you have to check out this video. it is a prime example of why i love my job. one of many, of course. the little girl you hear in this video, pronounces 'frog' like 'fuck'. it is too funny not to share. she says it on a daily basis. for weeks we thought she was cursing. it finally occurred to me on the day of this video that she was saying 'frog'. for the sake of my job, all you will see in this video is Tad, the frog.

seriously, all of my kids have something special about them. i know that is a typical thing to say, but i really have a special bunch this year. they are different to say the least. even when i am in the worst mood, the kids find some way to make me smile and bring happiness in my life. it really validates that i made the right career choice (even though i will not have much monetary gain). my babies give me kisses and hugs on a daily basis. they say the funniest things, and just make me laugh.

i am dedicating this post to my love of young children and educating the youth for a better tomorrow.


For children, play is as natural as breathing—and as necessary.

—Mimi Brodsky Chenfeld,
U.S. early childhood educator and author

im a bitch, im a lover, im a child, im a mother, im a sinner, im a saint....

ok so maybe im just a bitch.

if you havent been around me the last few days, consider yourself lucky. i am a raving bitch and i cant control it! i am so sorry to anyone who has been unfortunate enough to cross me. i really cant control it.  it is driving me insane. everything, i mean everything, annoys me to no end. my responses are snappy; i respond without thinking. i need to get a grip.

on another note, i am feeling really stressed out about finances tonight. we are facing the fact that 1) we are adults and need to pay off our debt and 2) i have some major students loans knocking on the door. 

i understand, now, how finances could be the number one cause of argument. for all the significant others out there that do not manage the finances, i envy you. please be grateful for the significant others like myself that manage every penny that runs through the family. it is even harder when you have separate bank accounts. even harder when SOMEONE doesnt have a debit card and has failed to order a new one (cough, cough). its even HARDER when that someone is leaving town for two days right before thanksgiving and didnt do the shopping so now i have to get enough cash to last me the time he is gone.....im just....stressed....and bitchy. forgive me.

on a positive note i paid off the ridiculous debt to the university of phoenix. i just have to upload a copy of my fingerprint card and hopefully i can start classes again ASAP so my loans go back into deferment.  i attempted, actually, to pay one loan and check in on the other but they were both under maintenance. thats your own problem, people. your site doesnt work? no money for you. BOOM.

i am so happy to have some of my family here for thanksgiving. i am excited to share this hearty meal and happy time with my mother in law, father in law, his children, my sister in law, and of course, my husband. i am going to attempt cheesecake this holiday season. i shall try it out on wednesday night. look for updates. i will also be making my famous ham and some delicious mac-n-cheese wednesday night. it will cut down on the kitchen chaos of thursday.

here's to hoping i can rid of this terrible mood before then. g'night!

months later....

well hello. it has been a long time. i apologize. life has gotten the best of me. my hiatus is now over and life is resuming.

as if you didnt already know, my husband is home. (YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)

i am beyond happy to have him home. although my whole lonely, single life was disrupted with partying, socializing, and junk food. i am on my way back to redemption, though. cutting all that jazz out and getting back into normal sleep times, health food, and an (almost) alcohol- free life.

sadly, i have been out of school since august and have yet to return to class. i enjoyed the time off for the first two months, but now i am more than ready to get back in the game. there is a strange part of me that desires the stress of last minute paper writing and relentless discussion boards. i originally stopped classes because i didnt have a stupid fingerprint card for the state of arizona. mind you i will not be completing my program in arizona, but in las vegas, where i currently hold a fingerprint clearance card......by the time i received the damned card, University of Phoenix withdrew my from my program and retracted my aid. by some miraculous act of God, i will be able to resume my program with all my aid as soon as i pay the school for the last class i took (almost $600). i am now $267 away from starting classes again. in the meantime, i had to pay a $150 forbearance fee to Sallie Mae to tell them i cant pay them the $441 dollars i owe them, and i have to pay $90 a month to discover loans. its unreal. i feel like i should have taken the career route in the game of life. somehow that always works out better in the game. stupid me, always taking the education path...tisk tisk. 

in the last few months i have learned a lot about myself, what i desire in life, and who my friends are. i have begun a journey to a better and healthier me, physically and mentally. i am cutting out all the bullshit in my life, choosing my battles, and working to make ME a priority. i have made a couple of absolutely amazing friends that i am so grateful for, i am examining my diet and exercise plan, and just working to be happy overall. its truly amazing.

i know there is a lot to catch up on but these two items were at the top of the agenda for me. so here is my little update for now. look out for me, im baaaaaacckkkkk ;)

and check out my yelp reviews, i will be updating those as well!

jessicazepeda.yelp.com

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” 

― Dalai Lama XIV