this bitch....

before i get started i would like to warn you this post could go one of two ways; it will either be short and to the point...ooooorrrrrrrrr completely drawn out with random nonsense, none of which relates to the other.

moving on.

i have had quite the eventful start to my week.  to sum it all up to today, which is the main point of this post, i have been feeling that darkness quickly come crashing around me in the last week or so.  all the way up until today when i had a complete melt down at work. professional, i know.  so let me move straight into today's events.

first, today is my mother-in-law's birthday and i didn't get an opportunity to call her until late, therefore causing the ever popular "you forgot about me" comment. but i didn't, i was just too self-absorbed in my own nonsense to find time to call until the time i called. ok, check.

happy birthday, mom!

now, the nonsense that is my tuesday.

a few weeks ago our beloved class pet, snickers passed away due to old age, and maybe a little insanity from a dozen 2 year olds yelling his name day in and day out.
                                                     

monday night i made it a point to go to the pet store and get our class a new friend, who has yet to be named. she is all cute and furry check her out!

check out the cool syrian bear hamster!

 so come this morning, tuesday, that bitch was gone! escaped through the roof. straight popped the cap off that shit and ditched out. way to start my fucken day, hamster. so i had to go to work and tell my co-teachers what happened to our new pet.  i spent the whole morning worried about her whereabouts (either in the house or in the belly of one of my pets) until i lost the next thing....

my car keys.

so i knew i had them. i took them out of my purse and put them in my gym bag so i could go running on my lunch break. i went to the library to drop off books from last week's curriculum, clocked out, and changed my clothes in the bathroom. just like that, POOF, my keys were gone. i spent my entire lunch hour looking for the damn things. i had half the school looking for them all the way until 5:00 when my shift was over. i had david on his way to pick me up from work while i looked up information on the cost to replace my key, since i was not issued a spare when i bought the car.  what do you know, david is a few minutes away from my work and i get a call from my friend and fellow coworker letting me know one of my students found my keys under the table in the library.

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET THERE? AND HOW DID A TEAM OF TEACHERS MISS THAT, BUT A TWO YEAR OLD FOUND THEM?!

because that's how this two year old rolls. i am not at all surprised that he found them. although i cannot attest to them actually being where he says he found them, who knows where they really were.  i am just glad he found them so i didn't have to worry about it anymore! i was sick to my stomach all day with the anxiety from all this.

so i get home, after dealing with all that and worrying about david because he had a bad day, too, and its time to cook dinner. naturally that does not go as planned either.  thankfully my sanity was saved by a wonderful conversation with my gram. she always knows how to make it better.

i cook dinner, we return the redbox movie that was due, and i decide to check my closet for the still-missing hamster bitch.  the cat kept signaling she was there. so david and i start pulling out boxes and what do you know, there she is!!

the mess this hamster caused in my house....

 


the funniest part was that we suspected she was there, but we both jumped out of our skin when she scurried away upon us finding her. i think because she is so big and black (insert dirty joke here) that she looks like a rat running away. i was dying laughing.  david then began the battle of catching her among all the boxes.  he finally gets her and what happens?  she pisses all over him!! not just a little pee, a steady puppy sized stream of urine all of the place! if only i had a camera, it was phenomenal.  i was in tears laughing about it.  so we got her in her cage and had dinner.




yay for happy endings. i got my keys, my hamster, and ended the night with laughs, dinner, and wine.  david got his dinner, beer, and a golden shower from the hamster he now refers to as "cunt".

good night, all :)