What does that say about me?

It's about 10 pm and I am writing in my blog.  I did the dishes and mildly cleaned the kitchen.  It is apparent that hubby made it home as all the spices are out, the cheese is left on the counter, and the pans are on the stove.  normalcy.

we are catching up on the shows we watch together and i am excited for all the new seasons to start-my shows and ours.  its our first night together in awhile.

i didnt get my nap today. there is a lot of change going on at my job and in my personal life right now that has my mind reeling all hours of the day. im excited for the changes.  i need to find a way to regulate all that has came and is yet to come.

there is just 3 classes and a student teaching stint standing between me and a masters degree with teaching licensure.  yet, i cannot focus. i lost interest, i dont care, im over it. how many ways can i say i dont want to be in school anymore.  im a tightass when it comes to grades and academic standards. yet, here i am, doing the bare minimum to get by so i can just.be.done. i just want to be done.

i gave up on medical transcription until i finish these last three classes. hopefully i will be done with them by january. then i can spend a few months completing medical transcription and see where that takes me. i love teaching. love it. its my heart and soul. but soon my heart and soul will belong to my daughter and the time i can spend with her and my beloved hubby. a career in medical transcription is a work-from-home, easily transportable job that i can do until i am completely done with my degree and ready to put my daughter in school.

we will see.

so here i am. writing in my blog. doing dishes. cleaning. watching television.

avoiding the dreadful deadline that is quickly approaching to get full credit for class participation.

what does that say about me? that the once all or nothing attitude i was so proud to have has become a meek, half-ass, maybe i will-maybe i wont attitude. im over it.