21 questions

no, i'm not talking about the 50 cent song.

today has been a very reflective day for me.  to say the least, it has been a hard one.  and to think my morning started out so well.  all i will say is i need david to come home already. like, 5 months ago already.

i want to pose some questions to my readers, to which i am also contemplating my response; but i want your responses first so that you will not be swayed by mine.

what constitutes a friend? 

we all have "friends." A.K.A. acquaintances. i mean a real friend, a good friend. 

for that matter what constitutes a best friend?
what separates a good friend from a best friend? 

how do you determine the friends that enter your life for the purpose of teaching you something from the lifelong friends that never stop teaching you?

i have had a lot of thoughts today. sometimes i feel like a lunatic. i have no control over my thoughts. if you do not suffer from depression you may not understand. i know, i know, "mind over matter" and "positive thoughts yield positive results" but ive tried that. depression is a bitch. sometimes depression wins the battles. it is a constant war. depression will NOT win the war, but sometimes it sneak attacks me and wins the daily battles i fight.

what i want to know is this:

what inspires you?
what motivates you?
what makes each and every day worth getting up for?

i really hope i have the opportunity to hear your responses.  to be quite frank, i am depending on it. this is me, seeking advice and encouragement, from you, my readers. my friends, my "friends", and my family.  whatever category you might fall in, i want to know. another totally honest statement that i could only dream of actually speaking out loud, (im definitely more ballsy, and composed for that matter, on the internet) is this: what words can you provide for me to help me overcome this bout of depression i am facing? i really am not fishing for compliments per say, but i feel like i need to expand myself, grow as a person, and let the world know loud and clear:

i suffer from chronic depression.

it is a daily battle.

i fight hard.

sometimes depression wins.

i dont like to admit this.

sometimes i need a support system.

i recognize that this support can be hard to find in the military lifestyle.

this is me.

reaching out to you.

my virtual support system.

help me.

make me smile.

I DARE YOU.

please, leave me a comment here, on my facebook post, on my wall, shoot me a text, write me a letter or an email. im so interested to find out what your answers to these questions are.

“When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert