really?!

this is the epitome of bad days.

let me give you a run down of how my day went. good and bad.

i begin on tuesday night. unable to sleep due to a number of variables including but not limited to illness. i finally fall asleep way, way, way, way, way past my bedtime.

it is wednesday morning. i open my eyes. it is 7:30a.m.

i work monday-friday 7:30a.m.-4:30p.m.

yay me. i quickly find the phone number to my job and call to inform them i will be late to work.  i proceed to text my assistant that i will be late. i race to get ready for work, fighting back the nausea and other symptoms of illness. i am out the door and to the car. i realize there are eggs splattered in my driveway. i half-way-still-asleep think to myself, "can pigeons lay eggs mid-air or have i been egged? really, WTF." i have an egg splattered messily on the back of my car and the reminants of two other eggs running up my driveway. well, i dont have time to do anything about it, i have to get to work.

i turn the car on. oh, shit. i forgot my tire pressure sensor is on. i check my tires. no visible signs of a problem.  i decide i need a morning slurpee to get me through this day.

i finally get to work at 8:30a.m. i let management know i am sick and proceed to my classroom. shit. i forgot to get supplies for curriculum. worst.teacher.ever. thankfully there are only 3 children there so it isnt a big deal that i am late. an angonizing hour and a half later i am released to go home.

despite my terrible stomach i go to the dollar store to get curriculum supplies. i go home. instead of tending to myself as i so greatly wish, i must wash away the now fried egg from my car and driveway.  just what i wanted to do. not. my neighbor informs me that his son's car also got hit. it is clear the hoodlums have terrible aim: of 6 eggs one hit my car and one hit the son's car. idiots.

the best part of my day

i finally get to come inside. i jump into my pajamas. i get to spend some much needed time skyping with my hunny bunny pantalones <3 i really needed that time with him. we got to catch up on everything and just bullshit for awhile. after that i played jigsaw world, talked to my aunt, and watched tv.

now. more bad. the ants are getting worse around my house. i am completely surrounded by them. i have managed to keep them out of the kitchen using vaporub per my sister-in-law's suggestion. but outside, all around the house, there are trails of ants crawling in, on, and around the house. they are crawling from the yard into the inside of the patio, and up the walls into my windows. really, WTF. the pest control guy never came on saturday like he was supposed to.  he literally just called to say my regular service is scheduled for tomorrow. i am going to call him back and let him know whats up.

i sprayed down my porch like i do everyday, killing the motherfuckers invading my home. i come inside and go to wipe my feet on a towel. there is a big, black spider on the towel. really, WTF.

like seriously, how many really, WTF 's are there going to be today.

im so over this day. like, really.

i guess the deities did want to test me today.

deities 1       me 0 

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

-Dr. Seuss